| Citation |
CC-H.771.032
7-14 May 1771:41,42 (333)
I was bred an arrant clown, and never had the least relish
for piety, learning, or good breeding. For which reason I
always despised, and envied those who had ever since the
late revival of singing commenced, which was, perhaps about
ten years of age; I have observ'd it had a mighty influence
over the minds of young people in general, especially those
who were well instructed in the art of music; disposing them
much to civility, harmony, and good agreement. And although
my mind has at several times been struck with a sense of its
beauty. Yet finding myself an unqualified member for such
an agreeable society, (by reason I could never till very
lately, be persuaded to apply myself to the study of the
rules of said art.) Have for the most part improv'd all my
faculties, to invent means whereby to make myself the most
disagreeable to them I possibly could.
Accordingly, whenever I heard of a singing meeting in
the town, it was my practice to take with me, a crew of my
own kidney, and often club the house, fling chips at the
windows, and sometimes set up a hideous yell in derision of
the music. At other times, I would enter the company with
my train after me, all with our hats on, while our betters
were bare, with long cains in our hands, and endeavour with
many odd postures, and broggarly behaviour, to fix the
attention of the learners wholly on our silly conduct; so as
to render it impossible for the master to go on with his
business, with any good success. At a certain time, a
number of us rushed into a chamber, where we knew that a
company of singers for the evening had withdrew in the most
private manner they could, to be rid of our insults; when it
was demanded why we came there? we replied, to hear and be
civil. We had no sooner obtain'd leave to stay, on
condition of being civil, but we soon began, by jocund
behaviour and merry airs, to stir up mirth and levity, among
the young ones. We also endeavoured some of us, to get
behind in the dankest part of the room, and would frequently
whisper some thing in the ears of the ladies, which would
have proved very disagreeable to them, had they been endow'd
with the least spark of modesty. but instead of their being
affronted with us, it would often produce a loud peal of
laughter. This I perceived did not set well on the stomach
of the master, who in very civil terms, beg'g us to act like
men, and be mindful of our promise of being civil.
On which I steps softly behind him, and began to
practice all the apish tricks of a merry Andrew. One while
I would be mocking of him by twisting my mouth half round my
head, and fixing it directly under one of my ears, another
while I would stretch it open to an unusual width. But all
this while I endeavoured to keep conceal'd from all but
those whom I knew were well pleased at the fun. When the
master look'd about to see what it was that diverted his
scholars so much; I took care to have my face dress'd up in
so somber a hue, that I tho't it impossible he should
mistrust my roguery: but his two watchful eye caught me in
one of my tricks, which provoked him to that degree,
(although commonly a good natur'd man) as that he caught
hold of a quarter-staff, & with one blow of it, laid me
level on the floor. I was taken up for dead by two of the
company, and carried home, where after the surgeon was sent
for, and being let blood, I was brought so much to my
senses, as to hear one of the company say, 'twas a wonder my
brains were not beat out, I replied, no by no means, for if
I ever had any, I should never have gone to have acted as I
did. My surgeon encouraged me my wound was not mortal. I
was greatly terrified, however for that night, with the
thought's of death, being no ways prepared, as I believ'd
for that change, I was made to reflect severely on myself
for many miscarriages of the like nature, and could not but
upbraid my afflicted parents, for indulging me so much in
such wicked habits, who had several complaints brought to
them before, but they always took my part, in such wise, as
rather encouraged me, than detected me.
What makes me willing to hold up my conduct to public
view, is, that others may see their own faces in my glass,
and that the shameful accident I met with, might deter
others from doing as I have done. And I would take this
opportunity humbly to intreat parents and masters to take
more care that their children and servants behave better
than I have done, otherwise I must confess 'twill be just if
they meet with my fate. The gentleman who gave me the blow,
came early next morning to inquire after my health, was
exceeding sorry he had been so passionate, beg'd my pardon,
offered to pay the surgeon and to pay [ ] damage I should
sustain. I was touch'd with his generosity, that I frankly
forgave him, and confess'd I was much more to blame than he
was, and ask'd his forgiveness, and promised that for the
future I would behave in another manner.
After I recovered, which was about a month first, I
went to the gentleman to desire his instruction in the art
of singing, which he freely granted, and in about two
month's close application, I have attained to a considerable
degree of skill in the art of music in which I have
experienced so much pleasure and satisfaction, as I do not
now wonder at those who practice the art, that they cannot
better bear with those who despise it. I am constrain'd to
confess, it has had a most improving influence over me; I am
at length prevailed upon to relinquish my clownish actions,
and have become a considerable civil fellow, and I sincerely
wish that hundreds, yea thousands, would be induced by my
example, to turn and become men The which if they will once
do, I am persuaded they will never repent it. There is
certainly a satisfaction to be enjoy'd in it, that none can
conceive of till experience makes it plain to them. I can
now see the propriety of beating time in singing, which many
make a ridicule of , and I know from experience that it is
best for those who lead in the singing part of worship, that
they should sit pretty much together, and it much grieves me
to see people from a malignant spirit, strive so much to
oppose it.
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